​Things at 18 I don’t do at 28 anymore

It might  look like 10 minutes, but time has flown. Day after day or even year after year we don’t even realize how much we change, do we? Well maybe some of us do, especially when we deliberately try to improve our traits. Now with a decade gap in between,  it’s so much easier to point out what we were/ were not and what we are/are not.
Here is a humble, brief list of mine:

– Saying out loud: “I made a mistake” and “I am sorry”

I have learned to admit my mistakes. And not just admitting them deep inside of my conscience or throw them away in the back of my skull, some place where dust takes over. It was difficult and it still is, but on the long-term, I can benefit so much from my mistakes, learn my lesson and be happier. I can always make new ones 😀 right?
– Trying to prove a point and that point is: “I am right. Period.”

In my early 20s, a very dear friend of mine, once said to me “Being right is not enough. Knowing that you are right and ignoring the rest is even worse. It’s dangerous.”

Keywords? “Learn how to be (show) right.”

Patronizing or being bossy with a bitchy attitude will not bring you anything. People are not going to see what you see just because you tell them to. Period.
– Stressing over what other people think or say

I get it, we are social beings. Living in society requires certain behaviors, manners, ways and I am not talking just about shape but also the content that we share. Nowadays with the social media and frequent posting, more than sharing we are baring.

Back to us, as I was saying we tend to look for our fellows’ approval, recognition, acknowledgment  and there is nothing wrong with that. It becomes toxic, if trying to get this approval, I risk my own well-being, be it mentally, emotionally or physically. That’s the threshold. Yep, right there. This is not an easy process though. It takes time, guts and vigilance. No one is immune at what society thinks of us nor says about us.

At some point I can be vulnerable, weak  and at some point people might be able to get to me. I accept it, though. Digging deep to reveal some hard truths to myself is no easy task at all. This is catharsis. You get to know yourself better, you get to understand your limits.

This doesn’t mean not to accept some good advice or criticism.
– Spokesperson: Ego

Ouch… nothing hurts more than a wounded ego. Tell me about it. Worst thing that can happen to you, is letting it conquer your common sense and cloud your judgment. The only thing I got out of it when it happened was: B-A-D.
• Bad fights

• Bad feelings

• Bad outcomes

• Bad situations

… And this could literally go on forever.
– Negative Comparison

I love to win. I love a good competition.

“I am better than …”, “I am prettier than…” “I look better than…” “I am more intelligent than… ” “I am more than…” etc is not a competition in the first place. I am not even bothering to explain where all of these derive from. You can do the thinking yourselves.

Bottom line is? It’s utterly unhealthy, useless and insane. I used to think the things above or the opposites at times, but there was/is no added value in that way of thinking. I can compete with myself, to become a better version of me, a polished version let’s say :D. That’s my goal… Talking about goals, when we focus on things that truly matter, that truly make us happy even though to others might look insignificant or trivial we might be able to find inspiring goals. As a bonus we might also get a bunch of people eager to support us,  it doesn’t matter how small that bunch is. In that case, we will find out that supporting others will come naturally. Really 😉

So what do you think of it? What is your own evolution so far? Share below 

xoxo #kristinakoti


4 thoughts on “​Things at 18 I don’t do at 28 anymore”

  1. I think good on you for putting this out there. Every decade of our lives we ought to self assess with this gem of yours.

    1. Thank you Susanna ?. This is what I have been thinking these last couple of days... I was assessing my behavior now and thinking how it would have been back then (10 years earlier). I have still a long way ahead, however I am proud of my accomplishments. Thanks again for reading me ?

  2. Such a reflective and much needed post! Thanks for sharing.


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