To my dear friend M!
Now I have also another story which is related to the importance of changes. I assume that when you think you know all the conditions of change and you might be assured or assure yourself that the change guarantees success and an evolution for the better you just can’t wait for it to happen…
A very dear friend of mine used to work in Albania, for almost 4 years whereas he had a family back in Italy, his wife and little daughter. Soon after, his son came to this world and imagine the excitement. Although he loved his job and he was also making good money out of it he missed his family. In the beginning he recognized that trade offs are unavoidable, so he had to keep going. But after a couple of years he confessed something that remained imprinted in my mind: “You know my life has turned into:
“Can’t wait for Friday to come to fly back to my family. And when it’s Sunday and I have to fly back to Tirana again, I find myself thinking again Can’t wait for the next Friday. My life has come to eternally waiting for Fridays!”.
I did some thinking, well he is not the only one. He was able to recognize it, but we all are waiting for…. Friday, for mid terms to end, for our degree, for summer again, vacations, the 6 pm when clock ticks and you finally call yourself off duty. Huh who said we live in the past? We live in the future more than we could possibly think and we totally forget about the present.
I try to keep in mind that my future will be built on a solid present, I don’t have to look forward to something that eventually will come in the future when I am living a different time frame. Oh and this is not about seize the moment, carpe diem, enjoy now and so on. It is literally for the “live now” part.
If you are looking forward to Friday or the weekend, don’t just keep thinking of it. You need to realize that something is wrong with your daily routine during the week. Find out what! University, school, work? Which part of it? Can’ t it be all that bad right? In case it is, focus on your goals. You can set weekly goals that will keep your mind busy from the Waiting for Friday part. Be persistent and you will achieve it. When Friday comes you will win over the double happiness pill. The first, well it’s Friday again and the second you did something good and useful whether at work or university, for yourself or others it doesn’t matter. And if things didn’t turn out that good well, reflect on what went wrong and make it better next time. In the end you are making experience and taking a lesson. Besides the next Friday Finish line is right behind the corner.
If you really do not enjoy what you are currently doing and can’t help yourself but wish for the moment it to be over think about how you can improve your “now”.
There is no good future with an infinite, constant bad present
It just can’t be. Miracles do not count, we are the only ones who make them happen by honing our skills, testing them and working hard. That’s how miracles work for me.
1. Change something, starting by little… maybe you can’t afford to quit your stressful job.
2. Look for a new one, one that you like. Not enough qualifications? Again think of your boring job as an opportunity to make money and invest on your education. I know in Albania unfortunately, resorts for jobs and opportunities for expressing one’s self are lacking but however I do not agree with laying helpless on my sofa and watch some lame TV show all afternoon, every freaking day, waiting for Friday…. Again… I know meritocracy is not the key word in our culture for the time being due to our political system and connections oriented habits, but that doesn’t mean we leave ourselves at fate’s mercy. Refuse that. It leads to desperation and trust me it leads to nowhere.
Besides if you think to engage yourself with other things outside, you will prove to be more efficient in your current job as well and find pleasure in what you do.
3. Understand that when you learn things your mind expands and you tend to be also more problem solving and proactive. Your mind is inclined to create ideas. Why? Because it’ s motivated and erases procrastination! Being motivated, leads to ask for more, so our minds absorb data and information, storing it, available when we shall need it That’s how you won’t ever feel tired or drained quite the opposite you will feel fresh, with new bright ideas which will help you in your current job. And despite everything, being useful no matter how much you don’t like it, it still is exciting and makes us feel good and worthy which is absolutely one of the most important things for our own well being.
Who knows, someone will notice and recognize your talent.
Maybe you get a promotion or a reward after all. However keeping yourself busy with healthy activities, enhancing your improvement, thus helping you building more stable chances for that bright future you seem to can’t wait for…