Evening thoughts

A photo by Israel Sundseth. unsplash.com/photos/BYu8ITUWMfc
Unsplash thanks @Israel Sundseth

“Sir… Sir, please just 100 lek* please, I am starving!” his voice breaking.

“You can forget about it. I am willing to buy you something to eat, whatever you want, but I ain’t giving you any money. Understood?”

“But they will beat me, they will think I spent it on food… please I am begging you, pleaseeee…” there was panic in his voice but nevertheless he was trying to keep a steady eye contact with pleading teary eyes. Yeah, yeah, I know they train you quite well, but you are not fooling me!

“Then NO!”

I quicken my pace, his thin voice still echoes, I’ve got a job to do. Just got the confirmation that the file has been sent. Great. Ugh I don’t like my job today, and weirdly I find myself saying that every day lately. Not a good sign! Damn! Maybe I am getting old, and I should just retire… reading books, Camus for instance, “The Stranger” I love it, it’s so ironic, maybe that’s why. Hahah…

Andy and Beatrice are safe in Australia, under a different identity that’s what matters most. I can’t risk to compromise that, just because I am tired. Oh, Adrian looks like you are growing your soft side a bit too much.

I am not the good guy. There is no good guy around, not in my world at least. I love my family, but I made a mistake and I am paying the consequences, that’s what being an adult means. I hope Andy will find happiness, even though he is growing up without his father, but I am sure he will become a good man, with solid principles and integrity. Beatrice will teach him everything, I won’t be able to, everything I can’t possibly be able to, after all I have done already.

Oh, ok, this better be different from last time. I have made it clear, no kids, no women, no old people! It was a woman! I don’t take such jobs. That’s why I assess high ranks of politics and business only, restricted and they pay well for a single job getting done.  I am not like Ed, man that’s what I call a killer whore, if it involves killing, he is ready to jump from excitement!

These people really should read some more thriller books, get a bit more creative Jesus Christ. Calling the shots means also choosing what kind of “accident” to make it look like. The new fashion “Car Crash”, possibly with a woman inside, “the other woman”! I can accept the “car crash” not the woman though, that’s not going to be me, not my style. It makes sense though, too little are actually going to focus on the “accident” rather than whom he was with, who was she, the poor wife, poor kids and family. Blah blah… I kinda feel sorry for these girls’ families, looks like they will eternally mourn in silence! Shitty world!

As for the rest, well, it comes with all the benefits. It’s nobody’s fault that money shades some small details of our job descriptions. Someone will collect, as we all have got some price to pay. In the end, you reap what you sow.

I am no saint, but my victims are not really the innocents either. They all know way too well what they are getting themselves into. The moment they consent, they become dead men walking with a timer ticking above their heads. Mmmm… is that the reason why they live their lives dived in debauchery, drugs and alcohol, whoring and other worldly luxury, because they know they are going to die much sooner than the rest, but still don’t know exactly when?

It’s so shallow that makes me laugh, as I am pathetic just the same as the rest.

“Good evening Mrs. Allaj. How are you feeling?oH”

“Hi, Adrian how are you dear? Huh the usual, my bad knees and the stupid son in law. So irritating, won’t bring my granddaughter to pay me a visit, that idiot!”

“Hahah, I see. Do you want me to handle it for you? You know I would kill for you Mrs. Allaj!”

“Naahhh… Leave it, he is not worth it. Maybe some broken ribs…” she starts laughing furiously at her own line completely oblivious that I literally mean what I am saying, then as usual the cough takes over. It makes me smile, looks like I was enjoying her bad joke.

“Oh, sweet heart, I had totally forgot. We have the groceries day tomorrow. I will cook lunch for the both of us. I just got a brand new cake recipe, from a friend of mine. I am going to try it tomorrow. Ok? ”

“Sounds great. I will bid you good night then. ”

“Night. And I know you won’t listen to me, but don’t stay up that late at night, it’s no good for your health.”

“Hahah. Oookaaay. I will try. ”

“Yeah, yeah, right!” a bored tired hand waving in the air.

See? Told ya, no old people in the list.

Ok, time to get started.


Hope you enjoyed it 🙂

*Lek- is the Albanian currency. 1 euro would be converted approximately 140 lek, it really changes almost every day, so I am not quite sure, and I don’t really know the ratio with the US dollars.

The little beggar however, when asking “100 lek” meant in fact 10 lek which is less than 10 cents. It’s kind of weird, but to us Albanian it’s the “new” and “old” lek system. So when we say “100 old lek” we mean “10 new lek” which is what you see on the coin. When you say “1000 old lek” you mean “100 new lek” which is what you read in the paper. I don’t know if it makes sense, it’s a bit confusing in the beginning, but from experience, every foreigner visiting Albania, once fronted with this, has managed to work it out very easily.

xoxo #kristinakoti



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