I am going to be honest with you all. I haven’t been writing for quite a long time. The reason is quite simple, I didn’t want to.
The ” I don’t want to…” freaked me out. Since I was scared to admit that I didn’t want to do one of the most therapeutic things in this world which further more is also one of the things I love the most, I was making up excuses: “I don’t feel like it…” “I don’t have time…” “I have nothing to write about…” and wait the worst is yet to come: “I am a complete mess, what the hell will I be writing about? I tried to be a good example of positive thinking and now I will spread what, the complete opposite? How incapable I am of surpassing it all? No one needs that!”
But I do, even though it’s not easy at all.
From a bit far away, everything looks cool, just looking at most of my pictures you would think I am having a nice time, so writing about it while “faking the facade” in the social media would be a total hypocrisy. Yeah basically going against everything I stand for.
However, I am wrong about the “facade” part. So both sides are true sides. If I smile in photos is because that’s the way I feel in that exact moment. If I am crying the second after is because that’ s the way I feel and none of it is fake. Both sides are true.
It’s another way of therapy, not to hide but to heal.
I am trying to sort out and make things work. I just have to keep in mind that sometimes it has to be “little by little” and it can’t be right away. Sometimes I need to remind myself of patience, although most of the times is a foreign concept to me. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am human and not a machine. Besides I don’t even want to be a machine.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I need to breathe just like everybody else, and as nature rightfully states: “I am not a fish!” so breathing under water will never be an option, which means I will have to take my time and get my Oxygen.
With this post I am confident I solved on of the contradictions, making me feel lighter and brighter…
Thank you for reading me! Tell me how are things going by your side, lately?
P.S. The pictures were taken in peaceful places where I have managed to find some serenity. The reason why I am using them for this post. Hope you like them 🙂