I know, because I’ve seen it so many times, over and over again.
Have you actually noticed that sometimes the bad guys were not so bad to start with? Very often the villains were good guys in the first place, not some ruthless, merciless creatures. Then something happened, good guys gone bad! Good guys seeking strength and power to protect, to fight injustice, to make things right. Good guys that fighting the “monsters” they loathed, became monsters themselves, and the same old triggers: the loss of beloved ones, loneliness, misunderstanding, prejudice, exclusion. The aftermath when your heart and soul crashes down the abyss you try so hard to keep at bay, the cracking sound of your mind when it rebels. Now more than ever, I feel… I know the meaning of falling apart, you lose your equilibrium.
You get devoured by the overwhelming sorrow, your emotions take control. The demons lurking around the corner, ready to cloud your judgment, making you believe that everything if not yet rotten to the core, will eventually rot, so let it go with the flow. Feels sweet and easy. You try to find solace in your hatred, making it the new fuel of action.
Anger shields, anger protects, anger keeps people away, anger makes them fear you, anger is good… The illusion that twists you inside, twists reality and evokes never ending suffering.
The correlation is always there. Becoming stronger or more powerful leads to more responsibility.
That is more or less, what Uncle Ben told Peter, when he had just acquired his superpowers, when he was Peter in disguise with the Spider Man costume to earn a bunch of dollars more. He didn’t take that advice at heart, his heart broke. But pain didn’t cloud his reason, since he had still more to lose. Hope was the savior. And the chance to merge. Yes, merge!
It happens to superheroes. So what does it take to happen to me? Why, despite knowing about it, I never truly, genuinely think about it? What is it that clouds
my vision? Oblivion? Arrogance?