The many of us, repeat the same thing over and over again. We are eager to learn. I am eager to learn, because I have so much to, so it’s imperative for me.
Thing is, that the learning process is not always smooth and quiet, don’t get me wrong, if it was always that easy, probably I would have learned less and less hehe ;p I am kind of a sucker when it comes to difficult stuff (And I still ask myself: “Why am I always getting in trouble?” Go figure! -_- ). And again, don’t get me wrong I have my moments, I break, I cry, I complain, I whine but the thing is, the final and ultimate thing is, I don’t bend. Not that I am saying it for pride or anything (ok, maybe just a little) but it’s still a matter of fact.
My dear friend says: “Sto comodo se sto scomodo!” which in English means: “I am comfortable when I am uncomfortable!”
It doesn’t make any sense, right? It didn’t in the beginning when I first heard it, but I find myself thinking of it quite often. Especially when in front of an intricate situation. It’s quite easy to simply back off, and let the other part have its way. But I am not that kind of person, and honestly I would rather prefer to “fight” and get hurt, knowing it in advance than submitting to something that it goes against my principles.
I am not saying, I am reckless. I don’t invest my energies on impossible missions. I always try to assess my conditions and my surroundings first.
No, I am not always right, of course not. That for instance, is an impossible mission. However I back up my cause with solid arguments and logic. If they are not, then please, come forward with stronger ones. I need facts though and common sense. If I sense, non genuine intentions, if I sense thirst for power leading to harming others, don’t bother, as constructive exchange of opinions? Won’t happen.
However, this sometimes gets me in trouble. And sometimes, I am the target of attacks, uuuhhh (sigh) which can be painful, stressful, frustrating, irritating even, but really it’s a price I am more than willing to pay.
I have been through these kind of situations countless of times, and I have learned a lot. I have grown professionally and most importantly as a human being. I have been wrong lots of times, I have been right lots of times, I have been right but I haven’t found the right way to make my point and that unquestionably has turned me on the wrong side again. So I have been right and tried to make things right, and also wrong and tried to amend.
I have learned to doubt myself a little less. I have learned not to give in, just because I am misunderstood, or I think I am being misunderstood. I have learned to choose my elegant retreat, when my battle is lost, or when at some point I am making a mistake.
I’ve learned the balance, I’ve learned that a balance will always be fragile and easily shaken, I have also come to terms, that I won’t always be able to keep this balance, but when it happens, I will admit my defiance, hone my skills and yes, it has been painful but that’s what also makes it so valuable.