Tag Archives: change

Unknown Variable

After the pouring rain, sun shines again

Does it sound easy saying what is it that we want? It sounds, but as a matter of fact it is not. Not always and not for everyone. What about the part when we are the ones that should actually ask for what we want?
Do we? Yes? No? Sometimes?

Are we afraid of a NO as an answer? Are we afraid of rejection?

Continue reading Unknown Variable

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What you have got

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On the road to South

I am going to keep it short, although luxury to some of us may give a lot to think about.

Simply put, to me, luxury is something you can’t afford just yet. And this axiom is not restricted to material well-being only, big part of it yes but not just that. Well it makes sense since wealth and richness is also in one’s mind and soul, right?

Where I live, to many of us some choices are considered to be luxurious ones.

Continue reading What you have got

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Tell me: What do you want?

That’s Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington in Scandal) talking and at first sight it appears so easy and obvious, but when you let it sink, it’s actually so elusive to answer.

  • A truthful answer sometimes means, intentions and when they are not so orthodox…DAAAMN don’t we like to judge but not the other way around.
  • A truthful answer means not just intentions, but also feelings that can be transmuted in vulnerabilities and when the stakes are high these make us look weak.
  • A truthful answer could mean compromising a relationship with a beloved one in our lives or even a certain status quo.

 

Continue reading Tell me: What do you want?

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Happy Birthday To My Blog

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I was so excited the first day, when my first post was published and I still am. Writing has been a “partner in crime” during all my life, not that I attempt to create a writing lab, but it has always soothed me, as bringing my thoughts to life, is like breaking my whole being into thousands fractions. It might look weird, but that’s my way of being complete, being a puzzle and switching my pieces from time to time. That’s a way that makes me feel alive, because it’s not easy, because it’s hard, thus I still keep learning.

Continue reading Happy Birthday To My Blog

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Fade-2-fade

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Durres,Albania

When you leave something behind or someone, specially someone very close or dear to you, it’s not a matter of just leaving behind, is also the matter of being left behind and finally being able to let go, from both sides.

I am probably too young, to talk about “leaving behind” and when I was thinking about it, I couldn’t help but mentally slap myself saying: “Don’t be ridiculous! What could you possibly share with people? You know too well, there are so many out there that have really,truly, deep, heart breaking stories to share…”

However, here I am rambling gibberish (probably) but looking where I stand now, I know that (more than leaving behind, to me is letting go) I’ve let go of things that hurt me, making me feel worthless and insignificant. I did the same with people I used to care about, but couldn’t accept me for what I was. I let go of them, to let go of bad feelings.

Leaving behind is absolutely related to memories, however they made you feel, and it is not about forgetting; it’s about making a choice, walk away, remember what made you ultimately walk away, turn ahead of you.

Sometimes, you have the impression they are fading, I know for sure they are not. They become a part of you, it’s still a choice thus turning you in who you are.

 

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Never ending competition

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“Dua te jetoj ne mal!” was my status a while ago, which means literally “I want to live in the mountain!”.

I was driven by the idea of escaping the “modern” world, from the system that fuels it. System, we, people make happen everyday. Like it or not, I am part of it myself, so I wanted to escape from me. The part of me that is driven by vanity, envy, jealousy, competition, ambition and I don’t know other words, synonyms ending in “tion”.

Continue reading Never ending competition

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Mistakes are made… (Part II)

To my close friend O!Part II

A couple of years ago, I gained some weight and it happened quickly. On the blink of an eye my lifestyle had completely changed and I found myself a bit rounder.

I have never been the catwalk model type, with a skinny or bony body structure, however that was not the issue. The  issue was my new lifestyle, sitting behind my working desk all the time and getting comfortable with a bit of mobility absence. Continue reading Mistakes are made… (Part II)

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Be a proton \oo/

Be a Proton

I will start this with a question: “What type of person do you think you are?” and going on with “Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?” “Do you think of yourself as a realistic person?”

Years ago, I wanted to think of myself as a realist. I’ve never been the typical example of an optimistic one, now that’s for sure. I might also add that I had a certain inclination towards pessimism.

And thinking about it I recall, very often thinking “Good things never happen to me!” . I watched myself struggling and fighting so much and so hard for the things I wanted, but it looked like it was always the tough way for me, YEP. Continue reading Be a proton \oo/

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Mistakes are made… (Part I)

Part I

John Mayers Keynes once said: “When my information changes, I alter my conclusions. What do you do sir?”

Which brings me back to another saying of John H. Patterson : “Only fools or dead men don’t change their minds. Fools don’t and dead men can’t.”. And recalling my memories of back then I remember saying: “Then obviously I’m dead!” as much as funny it may sound, it also brings to the surface some of my mindsets. Continue reading Mistakes are made… (Part I)

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At some points in our lives

Do more of what makes you happy

At some point in our lives, we ask ourselves “What am I going to do with my life?”. Some of us ask that question at 18, 20, 25 or even later… don’t get me wrong here, not that age doesn’t matter (does it?), but that’s not the point.
Sooner you ask, better? Sooner you “know” better… right? Hmm… slow down buddies, it’s not as easy as it sounds; becaaauuuuuuse a long list of “if-s” comes straight forward knocking on the door.
Now I am 27 and I am still struggling to “know” what am I going to do “When I grow up?” Too young? A bit too late, maybe not to have figured it out yet? It’s never too late and I’ ve been told some stories about it (I will share, promise)
I must confess, firstly I am doing this for myself.

Sometimes I wonder, all the things I know now, wish I would have known in my early 20s. Continue reading At some points in our lives

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