Living in the shadows, is not the worst of the things that can happen to you.
Living in the shadow of someone else is worse.
Living in the shadow of someone else and feel that you have no way out of it, it’s the worse.
Sometimes it can’t be avoided, sometimes it just feels that way, and in this case it doesn’t even matter if it’s the truth or not, you feel the cold of the eclipse which you witness and what is it that you can do about it. Move away? Go away?
See, the shadows are not so easy to get away from. It’s not them just lurking in, they have this sensory system and feel your darkness, they feel welcomed and they creep over and finally get stitched to your talons. They sense the void in your being and they conquer what you have left for them to fill. This is how the eclipse becomes daily and it’s a part of you and you hate it and yet you embrace it, because suddenly it has been so long and you know no other way to take a breath.
It could take an eternity for one to fully realize let alone to fight the eclipse.
I admire genius, a gift embedded in our genes. Sometimes it looks so insignificant and small that is underestimated, underdeveloped and left to be forgotten. Sometimes we even fail to recognize what is within, being so busy with our own schedules, planning and programming things for ourselves and others, that the fragile potential fails to overcome obstacles… Sometimes we are too envy and jealous of others’ genius that we deliberately choose to deny, hide the truth due to our little schemes and fear of competition that will ruin some chances for success or growth or whatever… However sometimes, this gift is so huge and powerful that emerges and becomes unstoppable, unbearable and burning like an acid to those who loathed it and tried to kill it.
I admire genius, in whichever form it comes to life from our human shells and transform the world through science, engineering, art, literature in every way possible… because if I can’t be one, I can learn from it.
Today I shall mention, one of my favorite authors. I admire Ayn Rand for her strength, her beautiful mind, her creativity, her individualism, most importantly for making me believe that my mind and soul have the power to transform my life and see the outcome of my efforts. Her books made me realize what’s hidden within us and that it so close but not that easy to grasp…or see.
“The Fountainhead”, it left me with a huge book hangover. It inspired and motivated me up to the point that I could literally feel my heart swollen with pride and overwhelmed with adrenaline running fast through my veins. I admire it and I hate it, for this strong influence it had over me.
A single man in a world turned against him…
I admired even more the 3 volumes of “Atlas Shrugged” which besides the book hangover left me speechless and yet I hate the feeling of such strength transforming me inside out…
A man against the world, who “kidnaps” one after the other the brightest minds of humanity, leaving it helpless and desperate…
Anyway it’s not hatred, I know what it is. It’s internal judgemental inertia (that’s what I call it) due to prejudice, procrastination and reluctance to admit the truth. Sometimes I can’t help but be victim of my own traps, but at least I am conscious enough to acknowledge their presence and therefore control them.
Let me explain, as I know it sounds absurd. In fact, I fully get what F.Kafka was aiming at when writing “Metamorphosis”, the poor Gregor, was literally transformed into an insect and he was banned from society and what’s worse disowned from his own family.