So I happened to read one of my friends’ post on facebook which was about expectations. It really gave me something to think about and also the right trigger to write this post. So before getting started, first things first. That means: “How does something I am being asked to do, affect me?”, “What about my well-being?”. It might sound selfish, but honestly, between that and being “selfless” putting myself at risk, I prefer selfish or self-centered thousands of times.
True also that, lots of us are inclined to meet others’ expectations, exceed them without even getting where we are going or what we are doing to ourselves. Others might be parents, partners, bosses, colleagues, friends etc.
To be noticed, right? So in case we are not, we will be deeply disappointed. In case we are, the stakes get higher so we push ourselves more and this whole cycle becomes vicious. Still, a part of us will be the “devil” whispering that: “No matter what we do, it’s not good enough!”. This reasoning follows our own standards, getting me here? So we keep trying to conform to others’ standards and expect them to appreciate our hard work according to our own standards… now how tricky is that??
Since, there are not right or wrong answers + I don’t even care, I will get straight to the point.
Question: Who sets the expectations?
Question: Do I set expectations?
Question: Does this make it relevant now?
So before thinking of meeting expectations, think if these are your expectations or others’ being injected into you. If they are yours, because that’s what you want then good. If you exceed them, even better. If you excel because that’s what you want for yourself, because that’s what you are looking for, for your own growth be it personal or professional then that’s the best.
If you are doing it to be noticed, to acquire more, to get recognition… careful! I am not saying it’s wrong, but you need to carefully deploy your strategy there, you might be giving the wrong incentives:
- Either you are just an arrogant brat trying to show off.
- Or you can always do more than expected, thus simply being taken for granted.
- Or you won’t be given any recognition on purpose, because you will carry on trying so hard to get it and thus others will take advantage of you. (Yeah, it sucks, I know!)
So when referring to others, before meeting their requests, exceeding or excelling check carefully what they are giving in return. We all at some point have our own agendas, so an extra reminder for that won’t hurt.
Think about it and let me know 😉